Date:
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Time: 3:36:00 PM
I am going to blog what's on my mind right now before getting back to my lesson preparations in a short while. I need at least 2 hours break to read the papers as well. As you read it right, I have yet to read today's paper though it is already way past half past three in the afternoon!
As you know, I am undergoing an immensely amount of pressure right now. Ever since last Friday, to be exact. Life have been turned upside down out of a sudden. And, honestly speaking... since TA starts, the weekends are spent at home in front of the PC trying to finish up whatever work that is pending and planning for upcoming weeks' resources. And, not to mention.. weekly reflections!
Like I mentioned earlier, I cried last Thursday cos I could no longer stand the pressure I was facing. And some things happened on that day as well, so understandably, this Piscean here became emotionally disturbed and the only solution was to have a good cry.
I slept late into the night on Thursday though I had school on Friday morning. I tried with all my might to finish up my slides so that I could do a dry run with my girls on the very next day. I thnaked Nad, for helping me to find and convert a Tamil song. At the same time she introduced me to a webby which had made my job slightly easier. However, I couldn't finished the slide on time due to technical glitches but other than that most of the resources were ready.
I had put aside family obligations just to get things done. But, my hard work and commitments weren't appreciated. In fact, she gave me a smirk look when I told her the truth that the slides aren't ready cos of some technical glitches. Cos of that, I am hurt. I am not asking for anything, I am not asking for returns but all I need was an understanding from her.
All these stuff that I did are supposedly meant to be their work. But, here I am helping them out and there they are getting the name for this. I dun care if this happens cos at the end of the day I am just carrying out my responsibility. But, at least.. learnt to understand my current situation. After all, I am just human. I have feelings and I need my life.
There is nothing in this world that is a surety. We, as human propose BUT it is God who disposes. You might think that I am your permanent replacement, but at the end of the day this will be confirmed and decided only upon my graduation in a year's time. I am not your slave driver for God's sake!
And yeah, one more thing.. that guy from Singnet was really a screwed up case! He told me on Wednesday that my Windows were corrupted but I had this strong feeling that he doesnt know what he's doing or saying! So, I consulted Kevin and we met up today. I was right, that nothing was actually wrong with my lappy. And, because of that time was wasted and many things were left undone. Just imagine the agony I went thru thinking that my lappy was in deep trouble?!
And since I was at Vivo this afternoon, I went to run some errands and got stuff for my observation tomorrow as well as the recording. And, I am OFFICIALLY BROKE! AM just thinking if I should claim from my LDS fund or just wait for iPhone to be sold here and use that fund to cover the cost...
I slept at 3.30 am this morning BUT was jerk out of my sleep at 7 am!! And I have been awake since then! I really have a lot of stuff to print and prepare... so I guess, I will end it here and start reading the papers before I start work again!
I wanna get my beauty sleept tonight. Wanna look good for the sup and also the recording! Though I hate the thought that I will be on camera, but that doesnt mean I would look like a haggard bitch for all others to view! This is so not going to happen lor! Anyway, I always have been on camera during Cikgu Tajul's lesson presentation.. so what's new with tomorrow??! haha..
Whatever it is, I pray to God to give me the strengths that I need and also pray that everything will proceed on smoothly. I am not going to be a coward and take MC just because I am nervous, scared and pressured. Even if I do make a mistake tomorrow, I will learn from it cos failure is the mother of success. Insya allah semuanya akan berjalan dengan lancar. Amin.
