Date:
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Time: 12:46:00 AM
I have never been any happier than I am right now. I am better off without a man and without falling in love. Life is so carefree. These days, I am a happy lady. Though I am stressed out, I am still happy. Without a doubt, I do think of 'C' once in a blue moon. Think of the two besties who had given me happiness for that brief moments of 2007 and the years before. But then again, the top priority is to concentrate with school and nothing else.
I have a very close friend in school. A lady whom I got to know in a module which gave me all kinds of unnecessary traumas and heart attacks. Though we are from a different specialisations, we could still clicked well enough to travel together, laugh together and stress together.
Anyway, I am in my final lap of this semester. A semester where I have a lot of points to prove. And, I am really trying my very best to do what I have promised myself.
Here's what happened during the last two days:
Thursday (27/03):
Had the one hour tutorial. Dreadful but it was an enjoyable tutorial. Dragged the legs to the library to do some reading for the essay. But within an hour, I was so sleepy and made up my mind to go to my aunt's place.
Reached my aunt's place at ard 12.45, just in time to send Ifan to school. Adik was asleep when I reached my aunt's place. Suddenly, he woke up in a shock to see me! He must have thought that he was dreaming. The look on his face was classic. Haha!
When I opened my 'magic bag', the bag I usually carry... all his toys came out from my bag and he was such a happy boy! Of late, my cousin's (adik's mum), has been complaining to me about his terrible attitude; throwing tantrum every morning and ended up being whacked.
It had been about 2-3 mths since I last saw him and I'd promised my cousin that I will talk to him about this. So, I had a slow talk with him. Scoldings and whackings doesn't work on Adik. During that slow talk with him, Adik made a revelation.
Me (M): Adik, mummy said you've been naughty.
(Gave me the innocent look)
Seeing that there wasn't any reply from him, I pressed on further.
M: Mummy whacked you right? Why did you misbehaved?
Slowly...he opened up his mouth.
Adik (A): Cos mummy work, papa work, shisha school. Den I am all alone.
M: But you have Jinan and Wah Encak right?
A: Ya, but then nobody will play with me, I am scared to be alone.
***This conversation has been translated into English.***
My heart just broke when he told me that. Now, I fully understands why he threw tantrums. He just wanted attention. He used to have Ifan as his playmate but now that Ifan is schooling, he's all alone with the little sister and the granny.
I told him this, "you need not be afraid cos you still have ur sister and granny to be with. And when I have my holidays, we will go out and have fun like we never did before. Also, you will be in school next yr and you will have lotsa friends to play with." I even asked him to promise me that he will behave from now on.
Friday (28/03/08):
This morning, my cousin told me that Adik behaved himself. She didn't realised the reason why he behaved himself. Well, adik do listens to me. Adik craves attention and he never wants to be alone. Scoldings and whacking just doesn't leave any impact on him. Only slow talks and reverse psychology will help and I always have to do the job. I believe in the rewards and punishments approach.
Today, I went for facial with my close friend from school. It was followed by revising for the final test. As much as I wanted to revise, I couldn't bring myself into doing so. This is partly due to, the disappointing grade that I got for the assignment. And again, I never used to study for English!!! I'd always believed that English can only be perfected with lotsa practice!
I ended up doing some of the test revision and read a little of my Sastera text for the assignment. I will be going crazy as I approach the mad dash moment.
"Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku... berikan ku petunjuk dan kuatkan semangatku untuk meneruskan masa-masa yang mencabar ini. Sesungguhnya ini adalah dugaan daripadamu Ya Allah, aku redha dan akan berani menghadapinya dengan minda dan hati yang terbuka."
