Date: Friday, January 25, 2008
Time: 5:08:00 PM

My facilitator is one hell of a ****. Informing him something about a problem I am facing, is as good as not telling him at all. If I had followed my emotions, I would have not given that bitch in the group any chance of redemption. But, for God's sake, I did not follow my emotions though there were times that I was tempted to. I resisted and gave her chances. Yet, she did not capitalise on the chances given. Instead, she went one big round to backstab me. She painted a picture as if I was in the wrong and not her. And, for her information, she was just playing with fire. I'd everything documented in black and white.

So, what's my worry here?

I am not worried if she decides to tarnish my reputation because whoever steps on my toes will gets their retribution not by my doing but because I believe in this, "what goes around comes around'. What I am actually upset with is her attitude and the facilitator's 'you're the leader so you jolly well get this matter settled' attitude!

Yes, it is my responsibility to get everyone working together and find a solution to make it happen. But, if someone is already bent on not counting herself as part of the group, there isn't anything that I can do. Afterall, I am also a human being. I can be as evil and cruel as I've used to be but I've mellowed down alot.

Haiz.. why did I put myself in this situation by volunteering to be the leader? I must have been possessed there and then! The people whom I tot would give me more troubles were easily tamed by me. But, yes.... I have misjudged. Blardy ma***k!