Date: Thursday, October 11, 2007
Time: 11:09:00 PM

I am really upset. The feelings I have in me right now was exactly how I felt when I got a B3 for my 'A' levels Malay paper on the first attempt. Which wasn't my fault because I remembered I changed my writing style because some bugger said that my style (which in actual fact was the right one) was going to bring down my marks. In the end, listening to the bugger cost me my marks. And sad it was, the results was released on the eve of my birthday.

This time round, though I expected to fail.. somehow if I had followed my intuition, I would fared better. Instead, I missed the grade by 2.5 points. Though this test constitutes to only 10%, I am still very much affected by the failure. I am quite depressed because if I had not been doing some people's responsibility, I would have enough time to revise my work. It just doesn't pay to be kind.

He would be disappointed if he found out how badly I have done for my test. And, I don't know how to break the news to him. This failure is a wake up call for me yet at the same time it brings about this question.. "Did I make the right choice?"

I don't regret this choice that I have made but some people are instigating me to slack. I have waited for almost 3 years for this and that is why I am putting in all these extra effort. If I ever give up my 3 pillars of strength would be greatly disappointed. And, not to mention 'C'.. For these 4 people, I will continue to hold on till the end. But, please continue to give me whatever lil support you all could to spur me on..