Date:
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Time: 10:26:00 PM
I've been feeling pretty emo since last night. Perhaps, I've had too much fun yesterday. This happens when I feel extremely happy. Last night, I got really emotional. I just didn't feel like going out today. I just wanted to spend time alone all by myself. I guessed all the limelight was too overwhelming. And I am very sure, I am not a celebrity material.
However, this morning I have to drag myself out of bed because I have an appointment with a customer. I just didn't want to disappoint him and cancel the whole thing just because I wasn't in the mood. Well, the whole thing went on fine and everything was once again fun. I didn't see many people but again I seen most of those whom I wanted to see. It was extremely nice.
I am pretty tired actually. I didn't get to sleep till about 2 am each morning and wakes up as early as 7-ish daily. Its taking a toll on my already tired body and each day I spent entertaining everyone and anyone. Professional adults, kids and parents.
My insomnia is back again. WHY?!! I am getting frustrated. Seriously.
Also, I am tired of waiting. Waiting for what? Everything! I just feel like giving up. Gives up what? Everything! I am just so tired...
Just now, I went over to talk to my Mr President. He still insists that I am head over heels with his married son. Which, I swear to god, nothing of that sort. I treat his son like all of my other married or single male customers. In fact, you may add my female customers as well. I know he's kidding. He, being a Swedish and the Swedes have this tradition that they get married at a young age. So, he have been encouraging me to get married soon and have a family soon. He thinks its so simple!
He tried to match make me. Even now, his colleague is joining forces with him to make it that happens. His colleague even offered me a choice between his 3 sons. He asked me, which age do you prefer? The 30 years old, the 25 years old or the 20 years old? Guys, thank you but no thanks. I am not playing hard to get. But, I am seriously not ready for marriage.
I am just thinking... During my 26 mths stint at Spin and during the couple of weeks that I have been busy catching up with the regulars, many of these expats do not believe that I am a pure born and bred Singaporean. I am proud to be a Singaporean though I do not display my patriotism. And, most of them do not believe that I can speak Malay and that Malay is my Mother Tongue Language.
Whatever.. its not a compliment nor something to boast about. And, some of the guys did try to flirt around with me.. But, those who knows me should know that I am the kind who can't be bothered with all these kind of 'cheap' entertainment. I treasure friendships and respect my friends. So, if they wish to be my friend, they should respect me as a friend, if not a lady.
Anyway, to all those who's trying to match make me....... thank you for your concern. I know that it had been a long while since I had a serious relationship. Almost 2 1/2 years to be exact. Though, I am coming to accept the fact (in fact, I've accepted the fact) that between me and him were never meant to be (and yes, he's getting married soon..), I am not in a rush to start another relationship any time soon.
Yes, its an open secret that I like 'C' and we might try to make things happen between us but with the fact that he's far away from me, it does not sound feasible at this moment. What with the fact that I will be starting my course soon or perhaps next year, I do not want to face with another relationship failure.
Some of you who reads my blog might wonder who 'C' is. I know you guys are eager to know who he is. But, I purposely made it a point to let his identity remained anonymous not because I want you all to continue reading my blog. However, I just want this to remain under wraps till the time is ripe. It may not happened now or next year. Seriously, I do not know if it will or it will not. I do not want people to talk about it. I just need privacy. If it happens, then I guess its fated and I'll gladly accept that fact. But if it does not happen, then I'll just move on.
Ok, I guessed.. I am just too emotional. I am sorry... I know somebody out there is not happy with me over my choice of partner. But what damn do I give? At the end of the day, I am the one who'll lead my life with the chosen one. I am really tired of all these shit. Just leave me alone and do not bother any of my friends. I am so tired.......
