Date: Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Time: 11:47:00 PM

We went on our own ways a few months back; in the hope that we shall forget each other. Life was miserable but we managed to get by. The only times we kept in touch was through our birthdays' wishes. Everything was fine till somehow you came back.

Date: Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Time: 10:01:00 PM

Date: Friday, March 20, 2009
Time: 12:22:00 AM

Am I being sensitive? Tell me that I am wrong. But my intuitions never fail me. I believe in what I saw and I believe in the changes that have happened. Tell me where my mistakes lie. Was it because, the time taken had been way too long. Or the heavy workload have drifted us apart?

I don't know. Probably this is just the time that I should actually forget you for good. And I think all guys are the same. They give you empty promises. They give you the kind of happiness where it was gone when you're just about to enjoy it. Now tell me, how can I ever trust any more man?

I am disappointed and hurt. Oh just get out of my life before I starts planting the seed of hate.

Date: Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Time: 2:45:00 AM

It started with just an innocent question. And, the answer I received was the last thing I wanted to hear. But nonetheless, with him married.. there goes my last 1979 babies who's born on the 5th day of a month. Congrats, partner.

You've been my sweetest partner since our paths crossed in 2002. You've been there for me during the start of my NIE days and I was there for you during your final days at NUS. Now, everything seemed to have come to an end. And, I spelt it out clearly to you. Yet, you mentioned that there wasn't any clause in our contract that says "permanent separation" upon marriage. Haha.. So yes, we shall continue this partnership then.

And, thank you for volunteering to help/pitch in over my (fill in the blanks). I will be waiting for your inputs and please.. do not disappoint me. thank you.

Date: Monday, March 9, 2009
Time: 8:13:00 PM

It had been quite a while since I last updated this humble blog of mine. The blog that somewhat should share a part of me. Somehow, due to practicum, this blog had been slowly ignored. Indeed, practicum have drained all that available energy that is left in me.

What I thought would have been a breeze doesn't turn out that way. The first sign of trouble was when I was told of taking two lower primary classes for this Practicum. But, I was cool about that. Somehow, when Practicum proper starts, I realised that I was to take 4 levels; make it all 6 if NIE allows trainees to teach the P1 and P6 levels. That is how my CT defined "variations".

Apart from that, on the first day of school, I realised that I was without a main CT cos she was hospitalised for a slipped disc. Oh, how cool was that? And right now, after going into week 3 of Practicum, she's still on MC. But I am embracing that freedom cos right now, I've too much on my hands already. Right from Day 1, I was working on 100 odds of LPs. Just imagine, how draining that could be?!

It was only towards the end of the week when one of my lecturer found out and she told me to talk to my SCM and my NSC. But, I did not cos I do not want to be portrayed as one who can't take hardships/loves to complain. So, despite the heartbreaking moments, I took everything on my stride. In the end, I was on 3 days MC but I was still in school!

Miraculously, when my NSC came to school for her courtesy call, the time-table was revamped. So right now, I am left with 2 levels and all that LPs done are wasted! But these two levels are my toughtest ever. Last Friday, one of the level has just screwd up my observations! Tomorrow and Thursday, I will be having 2 more observations with that class again!

Tell me how do I go on....? I am thankful that I had someone to talk to for this tough phase of my life. But somehow.. I think things are beginning to change. Or probably, I am just too sensitive.

Now tell me, do I have another video shoot tomorrow? Bleargh!

Date: Saturday, February 28, 2009
Time: 12:34:00 AM

I guess its too late to realise the mistakes... too much time and effort had been wasted. But probably, it's better too late than never. Somehow... everything's had been settled. Somehow... I had managed to open up my mouth and let my feelings known. I really had a good talk with Her Royal Highness earlier on. And, I had been ordered by Her Royal Highness to go home and not work late everyday. For the concerns showered upon me, I am thankful to have Her Royal Highness. But then again, I am her pet. lols!

Who is my "Her Royal Highness"? Do make a guess.. That term just came to me this afternoon. Haha..

Date: Thursday, February 26, 2009
Time: 9:55:00 PM

Today, I left school at 6 pm! Not because there was contact time..but because, I had so much to do! I didn't even have time to clear my work station. Maybe, I should just spend the night in school.. just like how I used to attend Netball camps there when I was younger! Haha.. Ever since Day 1 of TP, I had not been leaving school at 2.30. Not that I do not wish too.. but because I had no choice but to do so...

I have been advised to seek advice from the SCM and NSC for the workload that I've been given. But I know the outcome, not that it wouldn't be heard but it is better not to be heard. Cos I know the people too well. Let's just hope I can hold on till 8th May...

100 LPs are ready. Time to get on with the resources.... really need to do a major-major Art & Craft work.. will I be able to survive? The heavy rains have not been helping.. The nose, and body has been acting up... haiz... let's just pray that I'll survive(insya'allah).

Date: Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Time: 6:44:00 PM

I am really miserable.. really am. Only Day 2 of TP, and I am getting crazy. Dahlah nasib bagaikan "anak luar nikah ditinggalkan di luar chapel".. Pastu dikutip dan "didera" bagaikan si Cinderella. Wadahell of the hell...!

I won't say much here. Cos I am just venting my anger and frustrations. And what makes me sane is your support and encouragements, Atie (plus jokes cekik darah smlm...) and also that other person. Thank you for helping.

Now... I am thinking again... do I really want to be there for permanent posting? Unless... (fill in the blanks)

Ooh well, why am I turning pessimistic? And when will I be able to start on the last piece of assignment? It won't be completed at this rate.. just a suggestion... asal tak nak buat class on Saturday sekali? Biar semua aku ajar. 12 hours shift mcm banglas kat construction site sebelah building kita. Pastu, boleh gi Tekka makan tosei! pfft!!

Sorry.. I am sarcastic.

Date: Thursday, February 19, 2009
Time: 12:38:00 AM

Date: Friday, February 13, 2009
Time: 11:36:00 AM

Yes, this is what has been happening to me right now. I am affected by some things that had been going on for quite a while now. I want to let it go, but I am not sure if I can. Should I be selfish and hold on to it? Or should I let it go and makes both parties suffer like I normally do? Both ways, I will be hurt. So which is the best way?

Usually, I will just let go and run away from it. But after what happened between me and the boy best friend (bbf), I guess I should stop running away from the current problem. Really, I should. But how do I go about doing it?

I know I have not been focussing in my work. I know I have been day dreaming alot. I know I have been living in my own world for the whole week already. And I've not been motivated to do much things. I knew I have changed ever since knowing that person. For the worst. I have another 10 weeks to battle. I hope I can go through Practicum without much worries. I hope I can settle this unnecessary distractions. Insya'allah I will.